Tuesday, March 6, 2012

One of Vermont's US Senators, Bernie Sanders, is to Face a Challenge from a Secessionist Candidate in 2012

During the recent run up to Town Meeting Day this year, the mainstream media missed the announcement of a heretofore unknown champion of the ideals first expressed by Vermont's own Magnolia Vermonter, the Dixie singin' Thomas Naylor.

Dylan Patrick Ward, a novice politico and Bellows Falls resident, is bound to make an impact on the 2012 election as he introduces Vermont's newest political party, the Vermont Party for Secession and Mars Colonization. Ward's even included information about noteworthy and distinguished Vermont seceshers like Naylor and his embed in the Occupy movement, Vermont secessionist kingpin Matt Cropp, at his website here.

Of course, this is not the first sojourn by a Vermont secesher electoral aspirant into the final frontier. In September of 2010, while engaged in a secret dispatch to fellow Vermont seceshers on their highly classified Free Vermont listserv, Vermont secesher senate candidate for Washington County, Gaelan Brown, revealed:
"Personally I believe that it's likely that NASA has been collaborating with beings from other planets to mine the dark side of the moon in exchange for them giving us some of their technology."

"(I've seen unexplainable UFOs several times and I know a man who works for Carlisle who says there is heavy investment going on re infrastructure to mine the moon for titanium, H3 (nuclear fuel), and other minerals that are rare on earth.) I have also studied the chem.-trail and HARPP systems/history and there's a lot of sketchy activity in this category as well."

"But I'm not going to focus on these issues in my campaign."
I should let Vermont's newest political secesher speak for himself. Here is Ward's February 18 announcement:
Let's face it Vermonters.

We're better than the other 49.

We're healthier.


More peaceful.

More in touch with nature.

Our food is the best

(O)ur beer is the best

Our crime is non existent

Our mountains and farms are pristine.

Our people are simple and gentle.

Our colleges are a good mix of quality and affordability (as far as colleges go) and we have a long history of being self sufficient. (see flood of 1927)

And who doesnt
(sic) love Vermont?

Flatlanders flock to get a taste of an area that hasn't been completely ruined by technology and modernity

VPSMC sees this

We realize the supremacy of this great State and understand that now is the time, to go it alone.

The United States, once the greatest entrepreneurial empire the world has ever seen is spiralling uncontrollably into darkness.

Wars, Bailouts, a failing dollar, a stagnant economy and a cartoonish national debt are signing us all up for future slavery and suffering

VPSMC offers a five step plan to freeing Vermont from the shackles of the US federal government and Federal Reserve and positioning it as a world power with complete domination of the world economy and of space.

VPSMC is feilding
(sic) a candidate in the 2012 senate election.

Dylan Patrick Ward, a senior at Bellows Falls Union High School will be challenging Sen. Sanders and whatever chicken shit moron the Republicans wheel out.

To expand Vermont, suceed
(sic) from The UNion, conquer space, and rise from the rubble of the coming economic crises the one remaining world power.
Ah,"to be or not to be... perchance to dream; ay, therin lies the rub." You see, in young master Ward's zeal to bring change to Vermont, he's misunderstood election law, in that age of majority (or puberty, whichever comes first) is not a part of the criteria for eligibility to run for the US Senate. That exalted state of eligibility comes at the age of 30. Ward could not be sworn into said office until January 3 of 2025 and, should Ward somehow prevail, 12 years will be quite a long time for Vermont to do without its junior US Senator. By the time that Ward could be sworn in, Vermont's senior Senator, Patrick Leahy, would be fast closing in on Robert Byrd's record 51 year US Senate stay.

My standing practice has never been to suggest whether or not someone should vote for or not vote for some particular secesher who is running for an office. My only concern is for the true facts about their qualifications and, more particularly, those facts not being disclosed by the would be secesher candidates. Young master Ward appears at this time to be eminently "unqualified" for the office of United States Senator, however I don't think that should deter Ward's ambition to make a difference. Certainly he's demonstrated a capability for insight that escapes the usual cast of secesher losers and malcontents. He actually likes Vermont and Vermonters; he celebrates Vermont rather than disparaging its people and their supposed shortcomings in a barrage of negative attacks as so many of the presentday secesher pols choose to do.

Unlike his supposed secesher compatriots, I believe we can safely say that Bellows Falls high school senior, Dylan Patrick Ward, is seriously just a-funnin' us with his "advocacy." I don't think I've recently laughed so hard except for when I heard that Cris Ericson was running for something again - it may even be for the US Senate, too. Hopefully, should Ward ever be in the position to do so, he'll pack that first passage manifest to Mars with the Ericsons, Naylors, Cropps, Steeles, Wagners, Morrisseaus and the like, while he himself sticks around a bit longer to encourage us with his optimism and kind thoughts.

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